Why I Do Spontaneous Things

I do stuff that people don’t expect me to do sometimes. Dye my hair an unusual color, get a tattoo, another piercing, etc. A lot of the times I get questioned about these choices I make – mostly adults and particularly family members. “Why would you do that to yourself?!?!” is a response I’ve heard more than once.

There are the typical reasons. “Teenage rebellion”, but I’m 20 years old so that’s no longer valid. “For attention”, but I have social anxiety and really don’t ever like to be the center of attention. “To piss off my mom”, but I love my mom. I respect her and would never do anything to intentionally hurt, even spur of the moment. And then the one that most people argue – “Because I wanted to. It’s my body and I can do whatever I want with it. I like it and that’s all that matters.” Yes, this response is true, but not really my reasoning.

I started dying my hair when I was 12 years old, and I absolutely loved it. I was terrified to actually do it, but once I did everything changed. The idea that I could just make this one minor change in my appearance and immediately feel like an entirely different person was incredible. I may have dyed my dirty-blonde hair black at the time, but somehow it made me happier and feel lighter in the darkest of times. Most people saw it as a phase that I just had to go through after a family tragedy, but I viewed it as a new beginning with a new me. #NotAPhaseMom #ThisIsTheRealMe

I have always been afraid of change. I think we all are in some respect. I overcome this fear when I make these huge changes to my body. It represents me stepping out of my comfort zone and doing something that absolutely terrifies me. I’m afraid of going places where I don’t know anyone, but I chose a college where I knew absolutely no one. I’m afraid of needles, but I have 7 piercings, 1 tattoo, and my 2nd is in the works. I have always hated being called a ginger (because I’m not, I’m just pale), but I voluntarily dyed my brown hair bright ass red.

All of these things scared the crap out of me at the time, but I have never regretted a single one of these decisions. I’ve become a better and more confident person because of them. I do these spontaneous things that aren’t considered “the norm” because I never want to be afraid of change again. Whether it’s a good or bad change, I want to have the confidence to face it head on and humbly accept success or failure. I never want to become complacent in where I am, but constantly moving and making every day a new adventure. Life is way too short stand still when there are so many things to do, people to meet, and places to see.

This post is littered with cliches, but so am I so I don’t even care. Stay spontaneous my friends. Make me proud.

Advertisements