Dear Dan…

I know you would absolutely die if you ever read this. I can hear your nervous laugh that would bubble up right when you saw your name in the title. I can see the deep red blush start creeping up your neck and into you cheeks at the thought of someone writing about you. I can picture the huge grin that would spread across your face as you tried to hide your utter discomfort at being the center of attention for more than 10 seconds. I can imagine the gears turning viciously in your mind as you try to figure out why someone would ever spend the majority of their day thinking about you. I know all of this because I know you.

Truth is, you scare the shit out of me.

I’m scared because I remember the first time I ever saw you like it was yesterday. I’m scared because I was fascinated by you before I even knew your name. I’m scared because we only officially met 2 months ago. I’m scared because I feel as though I already know all I’ll ever need to know about you. I’m scared because we’ve only spent 2 or 3 weeks together in the same city. I’m scared because you are charming as hell. I’m scared because you fit my type to a tee. I’m scared because you’re dorkier than me. I’m scared because you pass everything on my checklist with flying colors. I’m scared because you’re such a Godly man. I’m scared because you never fail to put a smile on my face. I’m scared because you’re the only person who can out-pun me. I’m scared because you’re so incredibly talented, driven, and ambitious. I’m scared because I still like you even though you wear flip-flops and nerdy graphic tees. I’m scared because butterflies fill my stomach whenever your name pops up on my phone. I’m scared because your name doesn’t pop up on my phone nearly enough. I’m scared because I never know if you’re talking to me because you want to or because I’m kind of your boss. I’m scared because I talk to others about liking you as if it’s a joke, but I’m actually very emotionally attached to you. I’m scared because I think this is more than just an crush. I’m scared because you’re younger than me. I’m scared because we lost our snapchat streak. I’m scared because I think I was way more bothered about that than you were. I’m scared because I constantly check your social media. I’m scared because I don’t know what I’d do if you ended up not liking me back. I’m scared because I also don’t know what I’d do if you ended up actually liking me back. I’m scared because you seem too good to be true. I’m scared because I really like you. I’m scared because sometimes I think you might like me too. I’m scared because I have hope. I’m scared because I can picture a future together. I’m scared because my fantasies are moving way faster than they should.

I’m scared because probably nothing will happen. I’m scared because you may find this one day. I’m scared because I know the odds are not in my favor when looking at my track record. I’m scared because I have no idea what you’re thinking. I’m scared because I know you can do better than me. I’m scared because I don’t know what the future holds for us. I’m scared because I know I’m probably overanalyzing everything and have built all of this up in my head. I’m scared because your name literally just popped up on my phone just now. I’m scared because I’m about to overanalyze this even more.

But mostly, I’m scared because I don’t deserve you.

You scare the shit out of me.

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