This Week Was Dumb

This post is not going to be very fluid or have a purpose, but I DESERVE A PAT ON THE BACK. This week was insane – stupidly insane to be honest. Let’s dive in shall we?!

Monday: I had my first one-on-one meeting with the past AUDM VP of Marketing. Talk about an information-overload, but I’m good! I start and almost finish one of my papers that’s due on Friday. Keep reading to see how that goes…

Tuesday: PLOT TWIST. So there’s a bunch of other criteria for this paper that the teacher just decided to not mention in the assignment post. Grand. Have to choose a completely new topic and re-write the paper. Woo-hoo!!!!!! I have my EETV office hours in which I planned to do that paper, but instead I accomplish nothing. 0% shocked. I have an AUDM exec meeting later that night and, again, information overload. We made our calendar of our big events for the year and talked about upcoming interviews for staff positions. It was a lot.

Wednesday: I had to deal with 2 idiot partners for a group project. The assignment was to go to 3 stores and track traffic flow, handicapped accessibility, blah blah blah. Tune in for another post soon about this train wreck because it’s definitely going to be worth the read. Later on The Scoop had a kind of last minute change. Instead of having our weekly sweep panel discuss the latest entertainment news, we had an interview with 2 local musicians. One was even a semi-finalist on America’s Got Talent. Both of them were so awesome and fabulous interviewees. It was pretty thrown together, but overall it went so well. Afterwards, I even talked to them about maybe performing at AUDM main event and they were so about it! Point for Vic!!!! Later on I had chapter where I had to address, seal, and stamp 50 letter for St. Jude because I didn’t have time earlier in the week to do it. Lol I suck.

Thursday: Welp. It’s Thursday and I haven’t done either of the papers that I have due tomorrow. So what do I decide to do? Go to Target with Allison of course. After filling up my cart I check my bank account to realize that I already don’t have money for rent this month. HAHAHAHAH. I still buy everything that was in my cart though, duh. I get home and finally finish that one paper by about 11pm. Then I have a whole other paper to do before tomorrow. I knock that one out in like 30 minutes because I’m a god.

Friday: I have to wake up early because a friend is coming over to try on some of my dresses for semi-formal. She doesn’t have a dress yet and semi is tonight so at least I have my life a little more together than she does I guess. I also have my presentation to give today with my idiot group. Yay. It’s pointless, but we get it over with pretty fast. A quick death. Then I go home and wash my hair for the first time in 3 days and shave my legs for the first time in weeks. I put on eyeliner and completely fail because I’ve forgotten how to use it. I put on my dress, go take pictures with my date and friends, and then head off to semi. It was great by the way!

So I’ve just been really overwhelmed this past week and I am damn proud that I accomplished everything I was supposed to. There were a lot more little things too, but i can’t mention everything. Anyway, way to go Vic. You continue to impress me everyday. I’m not even gonna proof read this – I’m that good. Signing off.

“What Do You Wanna Be When You Grow Up?”

*WARNING: I go a little off topic at times in this. I’m sorry, I’m easily distracted so it’s more of a stream of consciousness than it is a blog entry. Whoops.

A question that I think we’ve all been asked at least a thousand times throughout our lives. And yet, it’s probably the one question that scares us the most. Very relatable since it definitely scares the crap out of me. But why? And how did I come to the conclusion that this is the dumbest, and somehow most overused, question of all time?

Some get scared of this question because they don’t know the answer – which is valid. I’ve never known the answer. My tactic was to always just pick something that I kind of have experience in, stick to that answer for the rest of my young-enough-to-have-dreams years, and say it with confidence when asked so that maybe they’ll think I have a plan and leave me alone so I can go cry about it later. Very adult, I know.

Some people get scared because what they want isn’t what those around them want. It’d be the equivalent of me telling my mom that I voted for Bernie Sanders. (Which I didn’t for the record. Just proving a point here.) I know my mom always wanted me to be in front of the camera because she thought I was a ‘natural’. Maybe that was true when I was young little thing before the days of high definition, acne, and crippling insecurity. It was never really my dream to be a news reporter or anchor, but I said it was when anyone asked because it was the only thing I could think of. I never knew of or considered any other careers because that was the only thing that was ever discussed for my future. It wasn’t until high school, in my TV Production class, that I considered picking something a little different.

Others get scared because they dream big and they have no idea how they’ll get to the end of this unreachable rainbow where their dream lives. The world tends to create this little box that it wants everyone to fit in and those with dreams too big get kicked out, unaccepted. “Wow, that’s a big plan you’ve got there,” easily translates to, “Lol good luck with that kiddo. I’ll see you working at your parents’ workplace in a few years.” When everyone around you says that you can’t do something, you start to believe it yourself. The condescending tone and lack of encouragement does wonders for my self confidence! *sarcasm* What if I what I want to do doesn’t exist yet? What if my answer won’t satisfy your question? What if what I want is so out-of-reach that I don’t even know that’s what I want yet? What if I don’t have an answer for you? But also, what if I not only achieve what I want, but surpass even my own goals? What if I prove you wrong?

Which brings me to the last one: Some people get scared because they have no goddamn clue. You can easily identify these people because they’re the ones who crack a joke, they switch the subject, or their nervous laughter is triggered when this question is asked. I know this because I am one of those people. My idea of what I want to be changes every day essentially. Then there’s usually the follow-up question: “Well what are you good at?” To which you will receive the same response. *nervous laughter, insert joke here, more nervous laughter because you’re not fooling anyone Vic* But here’s why I couldn’t care less.

I don’t ever want to grow up. That may sound juvenile and naive, but let me explain. Getting older is inevitable and (like my mother always says) a privilege, but there’s a big difference between getting older and growing up. People always speak of ‘growing up’ with the implication that a young dreamer must finally become realistic and serious. Those are simply two things that I never want to become. I don’t think anyone ever achieved what they wanted, created something new, or changed anything worth changing by being realistic or serious. Sure, I’ll get older because that’s inescapable and I accept that. However, I refuse to tolerate the idea that giving up on my dreams, taking myself seriously, reaching for things that are easily in reach, and following some predictable template for my life is just as inevitable as getting older. I don’t ever want to ‘grow up’. I don’t ever want to stop reaching for something different, setting new goals, making spontaneous decisions, laughing if I fail, and moving onto the next thing. Life isn’t worth living is you live it stagnant.

Never stop growing – in age, mind, soul, and accomplishments. But never outgrow your youthful outlook on life. Kids think the darnedest things, and that’s exactly what will make you stand out and top those boring adults in their stupid real world.

For Those Times When You’re Feeling Overwhelmed

It’s definitely not easy being a college student. However, it’s even harder being a junior or senior college student with the threat of the ‘real world’ looming on the horizon. Your mind is drowning in thoughts like ‘Where will I be next year?’, ‘Should I apply for this internship?’, ‘What if I don’t get picked for an internship and then I don’t graduate on time?’, ‘Do I have enough experience, leadership positions and extracurricular activities for an employer to even consider me?’. The worst of all these thoughts being ‘Am I on the right track?’, ‘Is this really what I want to do with my life?’, or ‘Should I change my major when I’m a senior in college?’.

To be completely honest, I have all of these thoughts every single day. They dominate the forefront of my mind constantly, and I’m tired of it. Sure, I may have 4 tests and 2 extremely important interviews this upcoming week, but why am I driving myself insane with what’s to come?

After this realization, I’ve decided that there are 2 things I need to work on:

  1. Being present
  2. Trust

Being Present. Today is an absolute gift. It’s an insult to the One who has created this beautiful day to squander it. Instead of spending today marinating in worry over  what is coming up, spend it looking around and appreciating what He has already provided you with. Your incredible blessings are infinite and your thankfulness for these blessings is, quite frankly, embarrassing. Yes, tests and interviews and grades are important, but don’t you dare trick yourself into thinking that the only way to succeed in life is by never taking a break to look around and enjoy what you have already achieved. This day is a gift – appreciate it, enjoy it, and always be grateful for the opportunity to live out another day.

Trust. With everything that somehow ends up in your planner and on your to-do list, you often get trapped in the illusion that you’re in control. Which is HILARIOUS. To even think that you’re the one who has the most say in where you end up or who you end up with is completely comical. God has already planned out your entire life – down to the last second. You best believe that things will not fall into place because you will them to. Rather, everything that is hazy will become painfully clear when you focus your thoughts on Him. Haven’t you noticed by now that you’re more proactive, energetic, and optimistic when you prioritize the Lord throughout your day? He is the One who determined your purpose and reason for existence on this planet. Trust in Him, His judgement, and His choices for your life. Everything will go smoother and your mind will be at ease when you finally accept this truth.

In short, do not get overwhelmed and consumed by the things that are to come in life when what is right in front of you is already so breathtaking. Accept that there are so many things that you have no control over. Your life has already been written. Trust in the Lord, the almighty Author, that it will be the best story ever written.

For Those Times When You Need a Confidence Boost

I have struggled in a love-hate relationship with confidence for my entire life. Honestly, probably the longest relationship I’ve ever had. There’s these periods in my life where I am flying, no one can touch me, and I am positively superior. Then there are the less utopian periods. The ones where I am so down on myself that I underestimate all of my abilities, sell myself short, miss out on a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, and avoid anything out of my comfort zone. (Sometimes that comfort zone is even my bed.) These self-deprecating periods are much more frequent than the first, of course.

However, I’ve recently been forcing myself to do things I normally wouldn’t.

  • hanging out with a group of people I don’t know that well
  • offering up one of my ideas in a meeting
  • driving to an event and arriving by myself
  • attending a career fair
  • asking for help on an assignment or project
  • applying for a prestigious position
  • asking a stranger in class if they want to be partners on a project
  • honestly, just speaking to a stranger in any context

A lot of people wouldn’t even blink at the thought of doing any of these things, but for a self-conscious, introvert like myself they’re the equivalent of singing the National Anthem at the Super Bowl. This has recently been on my mind because of AUDM Vice President applications being out, and because I’m currently looking for a summer internship. These 2 circumstances have shoved me into situations that make me sweat, fidget, and question all of my expertise, qualifications, and experience.

But here’s the thing… (I’m going to talk to myself now)

You are so incredibly capable. Every single thing that you’ve done outside of your comfort zone has helped you grow into the amazing person that you are. I’m just gonna name a few to really drive this home:

  • choosing to go to Auburn University, a place where you knew no one
  • going into recruitment completely blind and rushing your sorority
  • applying for your Freshman Leadership Program, PAL
  • joining AUDM’s Morale, a committee meant for extroverted people
  • becoming the Assistant Entertainment Director at Eagle Eye TV

I don’t know about you, but I can’t even imagine your life without these organizations, experiences, and people that you’ve met along the way. Your leadership and creativity grows every day. Your passion inspires others; they’ve even told you so on multiple occasions. You continue to impress others, and even yourself, with your lighthearted humor, commitment to your cause, and shameless methods. Don’t you dare pretend to not have ideas or opinions for the sake of offending others or embarrassing yourself. Nothing could be more embarrassing than to not live up to your full potential. God created you for a purpose, and I can say with full confidence that that purpose is not to lay in bed, never trying anything new, and silencing all of your innovative thoughts. I’m tired of having to deal with your anxiety every time you’re introduced to something new. You’re freaking incomparable and I’d love it if you recognized that from here on out. Now go out there and live life like you mean it. You’re gonna kill it.