Dear Dan…

I know you would absolutely die if you ever read this. I can hear your nervous laugh that would bubble up right when you saw your name in the title. I can see the deep red blush start creeping up your neck and into you cheeks at the thought of someone writing about you. I can picture the huge grin that would spread across your face as you tried to hide your utter discomfort at being the center of attention for more than 10 seconds. I can imagine the gears turning viciously in your mind as you try to figure out why someone would ever spend the majority of their day thinking about you. I know all of this because I know you.

Truth is, you scare the shit out of me.

I’m scared because I remember the first time I ever saw you like it was yesterday. I’m scared because I was fascinated by you before I even knew your name. I’m scared because we only officially met 2 months ago. I’m scared because I feel as though I already know all I’ll ever need to know about you. I’m scared because we’ve only spent 2 or 3 weeks together in the same city. I’m scared because you are charming as hell. I’m scared because you fit my type to a tee. I’m scared because you’re dorkier than me. I’m scared because you pass everything on my checklist with flying colors. I’m scared because you’re such a Godly man. I’m scared because you never fail to put a smile on my face. I’m scared because you’re the only person who can out-pun me. I’m scared because you’re so incredibly talented, driven, and ambitious. I’m scared because I still like you even though you wear flip-flops and nerdy graphic tees. I’m scared because butterflies fill my stomach whenever your name pops up on my phone. I’m scared because your name doesn’t pop up on my phone nearly enough. I’m scared because I never know if you’re talking to me because you want to or because I’m kind of your boss. I’m scared because I talk to others about liking you as if it’s a joke, but I’m actually very emotionally attached to you. I’m scared because I think this is more than just an crush. I’m scared because you’re younger than me. I’m scared because we lost our snapchat streak. I’m scared because I think I was way more bothered about that than you were. I’m scared because I constantly check your social media. I’m scared because I don’t know what I’d do if you ended up not liking me back. I’m scared because I also don’t know what I’d do if you ended up actually liking me back. I’m scared because you seem too good to be true. I’m scared because I really like you. I’m scared because sometimes I think you might like me too. I’m scared because I have hope. I’m scared because I can picture a future together. I’m scared because my fantasies are moving way faster than they should.

I’m scared because probably nothing will happen. I’m scared because you may find this one day. I’m scared because I know the odds are not in my favor when looking at my track record. I’m scared because I have no idea what you’re thinking. I’m scared because I know you can do better than me. I’m scared because I don’t know what the future holds for us. I’m scared because I know I’m probably overanalyzing everything and have built all of this up in my head. I’m scared because your name literally just popped up on my phone just now. I’m scared because I’m about to overanalyze this even more.

But mostly, I’m scared because I don’t deserve you.

You scare the shit out of me.

Started My Internship Today!

So today was a VERY exciting day because it was the first day of my summer internship at Coca-Cola Studios! I honestly still can’t believe that I was given this amazing opportunity to work with one of the largest and well-known companies in the world for my first internship and today was absolutely surreal. I was super pumped about started, but also a bit nervous of course. I wasn’t so much worried about the actual work I’d be doing at the internship, but mainly the trivial stuff instead – finding the entrance, parking, locating the lobby, trying to remember and navigate all the buildings, wearing the right outfit, etc. I always tend to worry about that stuff way more than I do about the stuff that actually matters. Classic Vic.

Anyway, I got there incredibly early. I was supposed to be there by 9 so I left the house at 7:30. Turns out Atlanta traffic is not nearly as and as I thought it’d be and I arrived by 8. Being the truly awkward person that I am, I just sat in my car and watched YouTube videos until 8:30 because I didn’t want to come off as too eager. Thank God there was an  abundance of signs everywhere so that I could successfully find the elevator to the lobby. I get up there and I have to take a picture for my visitor ID. I smile for the picture, realize I still have my sunglasses on my head, and take them off right when she takes the picture. Thankfully, she retook it. I didn’t know if this would be my ID picture for the whole summer or not so I was extremely grateful for that. It turns out it wasn’t, but still grateful nonetheless. Then I go through the metal detector and then walk into the lounge to wait for Jess to come escort me to the office. When I walk into the lounge, I notice that basically everyone else in there was a young or middle-aged man and this just made me laugh. Here are all these probably-accomplished, professional men in this VIP lounge of the largest beverage company in the world, and then in walks this little twenty-something college student with her Lauren Conrad top and Kate Spade bag. I just felt really accomplished and prestigious at that moment. I don’t usually like to toot my own horn, but I felt pretty bad-ass at the time. After a few minutes, Jess came and picked me up from the lounge and gave me a little tour on the way to our office. Coca-Cola definitely does everything bigger and better than everyone else – that was made quite clear.

Throughout the day, I met all the people I’ll be working with and probably won’t remember half their names tomorrow. I did some small tasks like filing some papers, printing documents, searching for velcro ties in the storage rooms, scouring YouTube for video footage from UWG, and ran some errands around the building when necessary.

Overall, it was a great first day. Tomorrow there’s a shoot with the CFO of Coca-Cola at 8 in the morning. Jess told me not to worry about coming for that, but I insisted that I do. I really kind of want to just jump in and see everything they do. I figure I’ll have to eventually help out with shoots so I’d like to have the opportunity to be a fly on the wall first. I’m also the first intern that’s started so far and I kind of want to take advantage of that and get a head start, make a good impression on everyone. There’s also a bake-off tomorrow in the Studio so I definitely started at the right time.

Anyway, I have to wake up like 5:30 tomorrow morning so I’m gonna go to sleep now. Stay fresh my dudes.

EXCITING ANNOUNCEMENT!!!

Sooooo after yesterday’s emotional breakdown and existential crisis, I thought today’s post should be much more uplifting! I feel much better today – nothing some therapeutic writing, a good cry, and a long shower couldn’t cure. During my long shower, however, I came up with a fantastic idea!

I’ve decided to use my unusual love-life circumstances for good instead of evil and start a new series called the Not-So Lucky 13! This will be a series in which I write about every guy that I’ve ever pictured myself with or imagined dating. Spoiler alert: there’s 13.

I want to be clear – NONE of these boys were EVER my boyfriend. Just boys that I really liked and considered contenders for my first boyfriend. I’m also changing all of their names – for their privacy and also to protect myself from crippling embarrassment if they were to ever find this. Each boy will have their own post dedicated to them, our story, memories of the time that I liked them or we spent together, what I or they did wrong, why I think it didn’t work out, and a short reflection from me after revisiting these memories. By no means is this going to be a bashing of the guy or anything and keep in mind that all of these posts will be from my point of view, aka extremely one-sided.

I’m hoping to use this experience to help me in the future with my love life (or lack there of) and view my experiences in a different light. I’m tired of thinking of all these boys and only seeing failure, mistakes, and rejection. Instead I want to see them as educational opportunities and, most especially, funny as hell.

I searched high and low yesterday for books about a normal 20-year old girl who has NEVER had luck with guys – no ex-boyfriends and never been kissed. I needed someone to tell me that I’m not some freak, that someone else has had the same experiences, and that everything was going to turn out fine. I found nothing. I somehow felt even more hopeless than before, and I never want any other girl to have that feeling of utter defeat and loneliness again. If this goes really well and I have enough material, who knows, I might even try to get it published. (Probably anonymously because I would die of embarrassment if any of these guys ever saw this and read the inner workings of my psycho, overanalyzing mind.)

I’m really excited about this. I know it’s kind of strange, me [maybe] writing a book, but I think it’ll be one of the most therapeutic and fun things I’ve ever done. I won’t be having a real schedule for these posts, but I’m hoping to post one every week and have this series completed by the end of the summer. So stay tuned for my first post about my first crush! *cringes just thinking about it* There’s gonna be a LOT of embarrassing stories about me in this one so get excited to laugh at my pain.

Signing off. Lata lata to muh lovas and hatas.

It’s Been a Great Week, So Why Am I So Sad?

WARNING: This post will contain emotional thoughts and reveal many crippling insecurities that I push under the surface every day with sarcasm and humor. Enjoy.

This week my brother graduated college. YAY!!!!!!! My whole family got together to attend the ceremony in South Carolina and then we all went to my Grams’ house in North Carolina to spend some rare quality time together for a couple days. I was ecstatic going into this trip. I had finished the semester with four A’s and one B in my classes, I was close to starting an AMAZING internship for the summer, and I was getting to have my whole family in one place at the same time. (Which seldom happens. Maybe once a year if that.) I couldn’t contain my excitement.

So we go to the ceremony, which is great, and then head to NC. Suddenly, I am overcome with sadness. I’m sure my family even notices that I’m not being myself lately. And here’s why.

Everything is kind of hitting me at once right now. Richard is looking for house in SC and he starts his job on Monday. Clayton could only spend one and a half days with us in NC because he and his girlfriend have work on Saturday at the hospital. My mother’s soon-to-be husband is visiting the NC house for the first time, somewhat solidifying his position in the family. All my family talks about with me is my upcoming graduation next year and if my internship this summer could turn into a job after I finish school. I’m incredibly overwhelmed with reality right now and there’s no way to escape it. I constantly feel like I’m about to burst into tears because I don’t know if I can handle the bleakness and inevitability of it all. Just writing this is bringing stress-tears to my eyes.

But there’s one other thing that’s having an even worse effect on me this week.

I am completely surrounded by couples. Richard and Clayton brought their girlfriends up to NC, along with my mother’s boyfriend. We went to lunch today and at the table I looked around and everyone was having conversations with their significant other while I sat in silence and stared at my phone. Constantly refreshing it to reveal absolutely no notifications from anyone. It was enough to break me. There were a bunch of other situations like this during the week, but this is the one that really did me in. My forever-single status is something that I often either joke about or tiptoe around. It is truly my biggest insecurity and one that I have to deal with on a daily basis. Of course I enjoy seeing all of my loved ones happy with another person, but it always brings the thought “Will that ever be me?” racing to the surface of my mind.

I haven’t ever had a boyfriend, or even a first kiss, and I am almost 21 years old. It’s embarrassing. One can’t help but question. What’s wrong with me? Why does no one like me? It’s not as if I haven’t found anyone I liked enough, the feelings are just either never acted upon or never reciprocated. It’s a hard thing to deal with and it’s something that never leaves the forefront of my mind. Even now, there’s a guy I like and I’m almost positive he doesn’t like me in that way at all. I try so hard and I’m rejected. I play it cool and I’m overlooked. The only other option is to give up altogether, but there’d really be no difference in outcome compared to my love life right now. Yes I am an independent, strong woman, but that doesn’t mean I don’t get lonely. (quite often actually) I’m also an introvert which means I enjoy spending time alone, but that quiet time with my own thoughts makes me overanalyze and question absolutely everything. In turn, making every situation somehow worse in my mind.

There’s no solution or happy ending to this post. To be completely honest, I’m tired of being alone. This is a topic I plan to write a lot about later on, but I just needed to put that in here. I have a list of summer reading for single women that will hopefully make me feel better. Who knows, maybe tomorrow I’ll feel fine. But right now I don’t and I don’t know how to deal with it. These are the times when I rely on God to give me peace of mind and hope. Let’s hope it works. xoxo

Why I Do Spontaneous Things

I do stuff that people don’t expect me to do sometimes. Dye my hair an unusual color, get a tattoo, another piercing, etc. A lot of the times I get questioned about these choices I make – mostly adults and particularly family members. “Why would you do that to yourself?!?!” is a response I’ve heard more than once.

There are the typical reasons. “Teenage rebellion”, but I’m 20 years old so that’s no longer valid. “For attention”, but I have social anxiety and really don’t ever like to be the center of attention. “To piss off my mom”, but I love my mom. I respect her and would never do anything to intentionally hurt, even spur of the moment. And then the one that most people argue – “Because I wanted to. It’s my body and I can do whatever I want with it. I like it and that’s all that matters.” Yes, this response is true, but not really my reasoning.

I started dying my hair when I was 12 years old, and I absolutely loved it. I was terrified to actually do it, but once I did everything changed. The idea that I could just make this one minor change in my appearance and immediately feel like an entirely different person was incredible. I may have dyed my dirty-blonde hair black at the time, but somehow it made me happier and feel lighter in the darkest of times. Most people saw it as a phase that I just had to go through after a family tragedy, but I viewed it as a new beginning with a new me. #NotAPhaseMom #ThisIsTheRealMe

I have always been afraid of change. I think we all are in some respect. I overcome this fear when I make these huge changes to my body. It represents me stepping out of my comfort zone and doing something that absolutely terrifies me. I’m afraid of going places where I don’t know anyone, but I chose a college where I knew absolutely no one. I’m afraid of needles, but I have 7 piercings, 1 tattoo, and my 2nd is in the works. I have always hated being called a ginger (because I’m not, I’m just pale), but I voluntarily dyed my brown hair bright ass red.

All of these things scared the crap out of me at the time, but I have never regretted a single one of these decisions. I’ve become a better and more confident person because of them. I do these spontaneous things that aren’t considered “the norm” because I never want to be afraid of change again. Whether it’s a good or bad change, I want to have the confidence to face it head on and humbly accept success or failure. I never want to become complacent in where I am, but constantly moving and making every day a new adventure. Life is way too short stand still when there are so many things to do, people to meet, and places to see.

This post is littered with cliches, but so am I so I don’t even care. Stay spontaneous my friends. Make me proud.

This Week Was Dumb

This post is not going to be very fluid or have a purpose, but I DESERVE A PAT ON THE BACK. This week was insane – stupidly insane to be honest. Let’s dive in shall we?!

Monday: I had my first one-on-one meeting with the past AUDM VP of Marketing. Talk about an information-overload, but I’m good! I start and almost finish one of my papers that’s due on Friday. Keep reading to see how that goes…

Tuesday: PLOT TWIST. So there’s a bunch of other criteria for this paper that the teacher just decided to not mention in the assignment post. Grand. Have to choose a completely new topic and re-write the paper. Woo-hoo!!!!!! I have my EETV office hours in which I planned to do that paper, but instead I accomplish nothing. 0% shocked. I have an AUDM exec meeting later that night and, again, information overload. We made our calendar of our big events for the year and talked about upcoming interviews for staff positions. It was a lot.

Wednesday: I had to deal with 2 idiot partners for a group project. The assignment was to go to 3 stores and track traffic flow, handicapped accessibility, blah blah blah. Tune in for another post soon about this train wreck because it’s definitely going to be worth the read. Later on The Scoop had a kind of last minute change. Instead of having our weekly sweep panel discuss the latest entertainment news, we had an interview with 2 local musicians. One was even a semi-finalist on America’s Got Talent. Both of them were so awesome and fabulous interviewees. It was pretty thrown together, but overall it went so well. Afterwards, I even talked to them about maybe performing at AUDM main event and they were so about it! Point for Vic!!!! Later on I had chapter where I had to address, seal, and stamp 50 letter for St. Jude because I didn’t have time earlier in the week to do it. Lol I suck.

Thursday: Welp. It’s Thursday and I haven’t done either of the papers that I have due tomorrow. So what do I decide to do? Go to Target with Allison of course. After filling up my cart I check my bank account to realize that I already don’t have money for rent this month. HAHAHAHAH. I still buy everything that was in my cart though, duh. I get home and finally finish that one paper by about 11pm. Then I have a whole other paper to do before tomorrow. I knock that one out in like 30 minutes because I’m a god.

Friday: I have to wake up early because a friend is coming over to try on some of my dresses for semi-formal. She doesn’t have a dress yet and semi is tonight so at least I have my life a little more together than she does I guess. I also have my presentation to give today with my idiot group. Yay. It’s pointless, but we get it over with pretty fast. A quick death. Then I go home and wash my hair for the first time in 3 days and shave my legs for the first time in weeks. I put on eyeliner and completely fail because I’ve forgotten how to use it. I put on my dress, go take pictures with my date and friends, and then head off to semi. It was great by the way!

So I’ve just been really overwhelmed this past week and I am damn proud that I accomplished everything I was supposed to. There were a lot more little things too, but i can’t mention everything. Anyway, way to go Vic. You continue to impress me everyday. I’m not even gonna proof read this – I’m that good. Signing off.

“What Do You Wanna Be When You Grow Up?”

*WARNING: I go a little off topic at times in this. I’m sorry, I’m easily distracted so it’s more of a stream of consciousness than it is a blog entry. Whoops.

A question that I think we’ve all been asked at least a thousand times throughout our lives. And yet, it’s probably the one question that scares us the most. Very relatable since it definitely scares the crap out of me. But why? And how did I come to the conclusion that this is the dumbest, and somehow most overused, question of all time?

Some get scared of this question because they don’t know the answer – which is valid. I’ve never known the answer. My tactic was to always just pick something that I kind of have experience in, stick to that answer for the rest of my young-enough-to-have-dreams years, and say it with confidence when asked so that maybe they’ll think I have a plan and leave me alone so I can go cry about it later. Very adult, I know.

Some people get scared because what they want isn’t what those around them want. It’d be the equivalent of me telling my mom that I voted for Bernie Sanders. (Which I didn’t for the record. Just proving a point here.) I know my mom always wanted me to be in front of the camera because she thought I was a ‘natural’. Maybe that was true when I was young little thing before the days of high definition, acne, and crippling insecurity. It was never really my dream to be a news reporter or anchor, but I said it was when anyone asked because it was the only thing I could think of. I never knew of or considered any other careers because that was the only thing that was ever discussed for my future. It wasn’t until high school, in my TV Production class, that I considered picking something a little different.

Others get scared because they dream big and they have no idea how they’ll get to the end of this unreachable rainbow where their dream lives. The world tends to create this little box that it wants everyone to fit in and those with dreams too big get kicked out, unaccepted. “Wow, that’s a big plan you’ve got there,” easily translates to, “Lol good luck with that kiddo. I’ll see you working at your parents’ workplace in a few years.” When everyone around you says that you can’t do something, you start to believe it yourself. The condescending tone and lack of encouragement does wonders for my self confidence! *sarcasm* What if I what I want to do doesn’t exist yet? What if my answer won’t satisfy your question? What if what I want is so out-of-reach that I don’t even know that’s what I want yet? What if I don’t have an answer for you? But also, what if I not only achieve what I want, but surpass even my own goals? What if I prove you wrong?

Which brings me to the last one: Some people get scared because they have no goddamn clue. You can easily identify these people because they’re the ones who crack a joke, they switch the subject, or their nervous laughter is triggered when this question is asked. I know this because I am one of those people. My idea of what I want to be changes every day essentially. Then there’s usually the follow-up question: “Well what are you good at?” To which you will receive the same response. *nervous laughter, insert joke here, more nervous laughter because you’re not fooling anyone Vic* But here’s why I couldn’t care less.

I don’t ever want to grow up. That may sound juvenile and naive, but let me explain. Getting older is inevitable and (like my mother always says) a privilege, but there’s a big difference between getting older and growing up. People always speak of ‘growing up’ with the implication that a young dreamer must finally become realistic and serious. Those are simply two things that I never want to become. I don’t think anyone ever achieved what they wanted, created something new, or changed anything worth changing by being realistic or serious. Sure, I’ll get older because that’s inescapable and I accept that. However, I refuse to tolerate the idea that giving up on my dreams, taking myself seriously, reaching for things that are easily in reach, and following some predictable template for my life is just as inevitable as getting older. I don’t ever want to ‘grow up’. I don’t ever want to stop reaching for something different, setting new goals, making spontaneous decisions, laughing if I fail, and moving onto the next thing. Life isn’t worth living is you live it stagnant.

Never stop growing – in age, mind, soul, and accomplishments. But never outgrow your youthful outlook on life. Kids think the darnedest things, and that’s exactly what will make you stand out and top those boring adults in their stupid real world.

For Those Times When You’re Feeling Overwhelmed

It’s definitely not easy being a college student. However, it’s even harder being a junior or senior college student with the threat of the ‘real world’ looming on the horizon. Your mind is drowning in thoughts like ‘Where will I be next year?’, ‘Should I apply for this internship?’, ‘What if I don’t get picked for an internship and then I don’t graduate on time?’, ‘Do I have enough experience, leadership positions and extracurricular activities for an employer to even consider me?’. The worst of all these thoughts being ‘Am I on the right track?’, ‘Is this really what I want to do with my life?’, or ‘Should I change my major when I’m a senior in college?’.

To be completely honest, I have all of these thoughts every single day. They dominate the forefront of my mind constantly, and I’m tired of it. Sure, I may have 4 tests and 2 extremely important interviews this upcoming week, but why am I driving myself insane with what’s to come?

After this realization, I’ve decided that there are 2 things I need to work on:

  1. Being present
  2. Trust

Being Present. Today is an absolute gift. It’s an insult to the One who has created this beautiful day to squander it. Instead of spending today marinating in worry over  what is coming up, spend it looking around and appreciating what He has already provided you with. Your incredible blessings are infinite and your thankfulness for these blessings is, quite frankly, embarrassing. Yes, tests and interviews and grades are important, but don’t you dare trick yourself into thinking that the only way to succeed in life is by never taking a break to look around and enjoy what you have already achieved. This day is a gift – appreciate it, enjoy it, and always be grateful for the opportunity to live out another day.

Trust. With everything that somehow ends up in your planner and on your to-do list, you often get trapped in the illusion that you’re in control. Which is HILARIOUS. To even think that you’re the one who has the most say in where you end up or who you end up with is completely comical. God has already planned out your entire life – down to the last second. You best believe that things will not fall into place because you will them to. Rather, everything that is hazy will become painfully clear when you focus your thoughts on Him. Haven’t you noticed by now that you’re more proactive, energetic, and optimistic when you prioritize the Lord throughout your day? He is the One who determined your purpose and reason for existence on this planet. Trust in Him, His judgement, and His choices for your life. Everything will go smoother and your mind will be at ease when you finally accept this truth.

In short, do not get overwhelmed and consumed by the things that are to come in life when what is right in front of you is already so breathtaking. Accept that there are so many things that you have no control over. Your life has already been written. Trust in the Lord, the almighty Author, that it will be the best story ever written.

For Those Times When You Need a Confidence Boost

I have struggled in a love-hate relationship with confidence for my entire life. Honestly, probably the longest relationship I’ve ever had. There’s these periods in my life where I am flying, no one can touch me, and I am positively superior. Then there are the less utopian periods. The ones where I am so down on myself that I underestimate all of my abilities, sell myself short, miss out on a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, and avoid anything out of my comfort zone. (Sometimes that comfort zone is even my bed.) These self-deprecating periods are much more frequent than the first, of course.

However, I’ve recently been forcing myself to do things I normally wouldn’t.

  • hanging out with a group of people I don’t know that well
  • offering up one of my ideas in a meeting
  • driving to an event and arriving by myself
  • attending a career fair
  • asking for help on an assignment or project
  • applying for a prestigious position
  • asking a stranger in class if they want to be partners on a project
  • honestly, just speaking to a stranger in any context

A lot of people wouldn’t even blink at the thought of doing any of these things, but for a self-conscious, introvert like myself they’re the equivalent of singing the National Anthem at the Super Bowl. This has recently been on my mind because of AUDM Vice President applications being out, and because I’m currently looking for a summer internship. These 2 circumstances have shoved me into situations that make me sweat, fidget, and question all of my expertise, qualifications, and experience.

But here’s the thing… (I’m going to talk to myself now)

You are so incredibly capable. Every single thing that you’ve done outside of your comfort zone has helped you grow into the amazing person that you are. I’m just gonna name a few to really drive this home:

  • choosing to go to Auburn University, a place where you knew no one
  • going into recruitment completely blind and rushing your sorority
  • applying for your Freshman Leadership Program, PAL
  • joining AUDM’s Morale, a committee meant for extroverted people
  • becoming the Assistant Entertainment Director at Eagle Eye TV

I don’t know about you, but I can’t even imagine your life without these organizations, experiences, and people that you’ve met along the way. Your leadership and creativity grows every day. Your passion inspires others; they’ve even told you so on multiple occasions. You continue to impress others, and even yourself, with your lighthearted humor, commitment to your cause, and shameless methods. Don’t you dare pretend to not have ideas or opinions for the sake of offending others or embarrassing yourself. Nothing could be more embarrassing than to not live up to your full potential. God created you for a purpose, and I can say with full confidence that that purpose is not to lay in bed, never trying anything new, and silencing all of your innovative thoughts. I’m tired of having to deal with your anxiety every time you’re introduced to something new. You’re freaking incomparable and I’d love it if you recognized that from here on out. Now go out there and live life like you mean it. You’re gonna kill it.

Guess What I Did Today…

I promptly woke up at 10:47am. Right on schedule. I then laid in bed and scolded myself for not going to church. I got out of bed at 10:53am, went downstairs, and was greeted by Al and Hunt – my roommate and her boyfriend of like 4 years now I think. They’re both morning people and don’t need silly things like alarms in order to wake up before 10:47am. She had already made homemade muffins from scratch and a Jimmy Dean Breakfast Casserole, which she kindly invited me to eat as well. They went to Home Depot and World Market today to get some supplies for the garden they’re starting in our backyard. Later on today, Al started to cook dinner and prepare her meals for the week while Hunt hung up a new decoration on our back patio. If it isn’t evident yet, they are people that I would describe as having it all “together”.

Then there’s me.

I, on the other hand, didn’t really know what “from scratch” meant until I started living with Al. I’ve eaten cereal for 2 of my meals today. Changing into another pair of pajamas was my idea of “getting ready” this morning. I have to do 2 devotionals a day in my Jesus Calling book because I’m so behind in my schedule. Today I finished a book I was reading for fun, deep-cleaned my entire room, and then started a new book that I’ll be reading for fun. Also, there was a Fixer Upper marathon on today so that took up a significant amount of my time.

Oh yeah, and I started a blog. Bet you didn’t see that one coming, eh?